Unchurched for 30 years

To 3 churches in one day

I was raised in the Catholic church, complete with 12 years of Catholic education. I remember thinking as a child "what ARE these people thinking?" during mass. I enjoyed the singing, and the church was lavish, but it was beautiful. I tried to logically understand what they were really trying to say, but it never did add up for me. During my teen years, I realized how patriarchal and male-dominated that church is/was, and I completely left the Catholic church.

For the next thirty years, I engaged in a number of outdoor activities, mostly camping and whitewater kayaking. Doing these things really brought me closer to the Higher Power that is present in nature, and is a part of us all. During that time, I also had some very personal spiritual experiences, and came to realize the "light of God" that is a spark in all living beings. I always said a silent thanks for the beauty that I saw right in front of me, millions and millions of times. I never tired of looking at the water, how the light shown on the water, how the water in whitewater rivers moved, the sounds, the smells.... and the companionship of the people who, like me, loved the rivers. Some of those people became friends, and some of them died while kayaking.

But a couple of years ago, something sifted in me. I became very distressed over the fact that my country was headed to war with Iraq. I never liked the wars this country engaged in before that: it always seemed (to my logical mind) that war created as many problems as it solved.... and in the process, caused a great number of innocent people suffer greatly. But what really pushed me here was the CLEAR fact that Bush & company wanted to launch a war against a country that was currently bothering no one. Indeed, was a threat to no one. I remember listening to Bush's speech in Cincinnati (my home town) on 10/07/02... and all I could think was "he's lying... he's lying.... he's lying." Sadly, other people could not see that. Nearly everything Bush said that day had no basis in fact, and since I knew some information about Iraq and what was going on there, I could see right through him.

I also realized that Saddam was a bad person, and he needed to be stopped from his human rights abuses. I realized he was not the worst leader out there committing human rights abuses. I felt that any and all other possible means of containing him needed to be tried, for long periods of time, before war even came up for discussion. Bush & company were willing to try nothing other than war. I knew the UN weapons inspectors would find no nuclear WMDs, and little biological or chemical WMDs (they found none).

But, I digress. I needed, at that point in my life, to be with people who felt and thought like I did. So, I started attending the Asheville Friends Meeting (Quakers). I had gone to meetings before on occasion, and the real thing that kept me from regular attendance was the feeling that I would feel compelled to get more involved in social justice issues and peace work (although I didn't really have an understanding of what "peace work" was at the time). I was very busy keeping myself entertained and enriched by going away on weekends to kayak.... and that particular sport takes a lot of time to pursue and maintain skills (and not maintaining skills is really not an option - if you want to stay alive!). But, finally, I just needed to be with those people in meeting. I needed to talk to them, be with them, and learn from them. I needed to move towards doing "peace work" all the time.... indeed, I realized that if I didn't, who will? There is more that needs to be done than there is time available to do! So many outrages, so little time. And, now, kayaking is not so important... but I sometimes miss the connection to nature.

One of the many things I feel I was "called" to do was to honor and mark the Iraqi civilian casualties from this war. I have been following this on the internet for some time, and the best collection of the names of these victims is through the work of CIVIC (sponsored by the American Friends Service Committee) and Raed Jarrar (an Iraqi blogger now in Amman). He posted these names on his website. Also, Iraq Body Count made a combined list of their names and the names collected by CIVIC. I printed up those lists of names, and placed them on five boards that measure 40 by 60 inches. It is just over 3,000 names. It is a small percentage of the total number of civilians killed. I will add to this as more names become available.

This past Sunday, I took this display to the Social Justice Committee at the Unitarian Universalist Church for them to look at and think about using. Then I took it to meeting for worship, and attended meeting. Late in the afternoon, I went to the peace vigil at All Souls Episcopal Church, and then took the display to their Peace Fellowship meeting. They have these meetings once a month, and they are very thoughtful and informative. They are also considering how to use the display.

And that is the very long-winded story of how I went from unchurched for 30 years to 3 churches in one day. I remember a friend of mine saying (many years ago) that the people who go to church don't seem to be any better people than the ones who don't! And I told her that maybe they would be WORSE if they didn't go to church. I don't think going to meeting makes me better or worse: it just is something that I need to do for myself. And I always remember the spiritually found in nature, and that there are many, many paths to God.

I told one of the Iraqi bloggers that I attended Quaker meetings, and he wrote back: Quackers are my friends! I got quite a laugh out of that one.

And indeed we are Friends.